... I was crying partly because I felt that this was expected of me, partly from genuine repentance, but partly also because of a deeper grief which is peculiar to childhood and not easy to convey: a sense of desolate loneliness and helplessness, of being locked up not only in a hostile world but in a world of good and evil where the rules were such that it was actually not possible for me to keep them.
George Orwell (1903–1950), British novelist. "Such, Such Were the Joys ... ," Part 1 (1947).
Orwell is here recalling how he felt immediately after being beaten for the offense of wetting his bed at the private English boarding school he calls Crossgates in his essay "Such, Such Were the Joys ... ..."