Quotation by Mark Twain

Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, [onanism] has the least to recommend it. As an amusement it is too fleeting; as an occupation it is too wearing; as a public exhibition there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long since been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence—among the best bred these two arts are now indulged only in private—though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo upon the fundamental sigh.
Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910), U.S. author. (1879). "Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism," pp. 723-24, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1852-1890, Library of America (1992).
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