Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated... will impose humiliation, and those whose souls are murdered will murder.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The attempt to be an ideal parent, that is, to behave correctly toward the child, to raise her correctly, not to give to little or... too much, is in essence an attempt to be the ideal child--well behaved and dutiful--of one's own parents. But as a result of these efforts the needs of the child go unnoticed. I cannot listen to my child with empathy if I am inwardly preoccupied with being a good mother; I cannot be open to what she is telling me.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
For some years now, there has been proof that the devastating effects of the traumatization of children take their inevitable toll... on society--a fact that we are still forbidden to recognize. This knowledge concerns every single one of us, and--if disseminated widely enough--should lead to fundamental changes in society; above all, to a halt in the blind escalation of violence.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always origin...ates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The reason why parents mistreat their children has less to do with character and temperament than with the fact that they were mis...treated themselves and were not permitted to defend themselves.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Learning is a result of listening, which in turn leads to even better listening and attentiveness to the other person. In other wo...rds, to learn from the child, we must have empathy, and empathy grows as we learn.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious ...that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The father receives his power from God (and from his own father). The teacher finds the soil already prepared for obedience, and t...he political leader has only to harvest what has been sown.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Till now, society has protected the adult and blamed the victim. It has been abetted in its blindness by theories, still in keepin...g with the pedagogical principles of our great- grandparents, according to which children are viewed as crafty creatures, dominated by wicked drives, who invent stories and attack their innocent parents or desire them sexually. In reality, children tend to blame themselves for their parents' cruelty and to absolve the parents, whom they invariably love, of all responsibility.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child within ...us--i.e., the weak, helpless, dependent creature--in order to become an independent competent adult deserving of respect. When we reencounter this creature in our children, we persecute it with the same measures once used in ourselves.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »