Bruno Bettelheim quotes

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Play permits the child to resolve in symbolic form unsolved problems of the past and to cope directly or symbolically with present... - MORE Play permits the child to resolve in symbolic form unsolved problems of the past and to cope directly or symbolically with present concerns. It is also his most significant tool for preparing himself for the future and its tasks.

Bruno Bettelheim

play

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While criticism or fear of punishment may restrain us from doing wrong, it does not make us wish to do right. Disregarding this si... - MORE While criticism or fear of punishment may restrain us from doing wrong, it does not make us wish to do right. Disregarding this simple fact is the great error into which parents and educators fall when they rely on these negative means of correction. The only effective discipline is self-discipline, motivated by the inner desire to act meritoriously in order to do well in one's own eyes, according to one's own values, so that one may feel good about oneself may "have a good conscience."

Bruno Bettelheim

discipline and punishment compared

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The only effective way to help well-intentioned, intelligent persons to do the best they can in raising children is to encourage a... - MORE The only effective way to help well-intentioned, intelligent persons to do the best they can in raising children is to encourage and guide them always to do their own thinking in their attempts at understanding and dealing with child-rearing situations and problems, and not to rely blindly on the opinions of others.

Bruno Bettelheim

parent education, general | advice to parents

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The good enough parent, in addition to being convinced that whatever his child does, he does it because at that moment he is convi... - MORE The good enough parent, in addition to being convinced that whatever his child does, he does it because at that moment he is convinced this is the best he can do, will also ask himself: "What in the world would make me act as my child acts at this moment? And if I felt forced to act this way, what would make me feel better about it?"

Bruno Bettelheim

advice to parents

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The good enough mother, owing to her deep empathy with her infant, reflects in her face his feelings; this is why he sees himself ... - MORE The good enough mother, owing to her deep empathy with her infant, reflects in her face his feelings; this is why he sees himself in her face as if in a mirror and finds himself as he sees himself in her. The not good enough mother fails to reflect the infant's feelings in her face because she is too preoccupied with her own concerns, such as her worries over whether she is doing right by her child, her anxiety that she might fail him.

Bruno Bettelheim

mothers/mothers' roles

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As Anna Freud remarked, the toddler who wanders off into some other aisle, feels lost, and screams anxiously for his mother never ... - MORE As Anna Freud remarked, the toddler who wanders off into some other aisle, feels lost, and screams anxiously for his mother never says "I got lost," but accusingly says "You lost me!" It is a rare mother who agrees that she lost him! she expects her child to stay with her; in her experience it is the child who has lost track of the mother, while in the child's experience it is the mother who has lost track of him. Each view is entirely correct from the perspective of the individual who holds it .

Bruno Bettelheim

toddlerhood/toddlers

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From a child's play, we can gain understanding of how he sees and construes the world—what he would like it to be, what his conc... - MORE From a child's play, we can gain understanding of how he sees and construes the world—what he would like it to be, what his concerns are, what problems are besetting him.

Bruno Bettelheim

play | children

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To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security o... - MORE To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security of the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.

Bruno Bettelheim

parents/parents' roles

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The parent must not give in to his desire to try to create the child he would like to have, but rather help the child to develop�... - MORE The parent must not give in to his desire to try to create the child he would like to have, but rather help the child to develop—in his own good time—to the fullest, into what he wishes to be and can be, in line with his natural endowment and as the consequence of his unique life in history.

Bruno Bettelheim

individuality | children

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The goal in raising one's child is to enable him, first, to discover who he wants to be, and then to become a person who can be sa... - MORE The goal in raising one's child is to enable him, first, to discover who he wants to be, and then to become a person who can be satisfied with himself and his way of life. Eventually he ought to be able to do in his life whatever seems important, desirable, and worthwhile to him to do; to develop relations with other people that are constructive, satisfying, mutually enriching; and to bear up well under the stresses and hardships he will unavoidably encounter during his life.

Bruno Bettelheim

parents raising children | growing up

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