Erma Bombeck quotes

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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of those little suc ...
"Mother" has always been a generic term synonymous with love, devotion, and sacrifice. There's always been something mystical and ...
With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dir ...
Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political a ...
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking ...
Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but ...
With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their w ...
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