Fred Allen quotes

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I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is ...
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who o ...
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and c ...
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make th ...
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