Judge Bedford: Planning on having children? David: Naturally.... Judge Bedford: Good, then I know what to get you for a wedding present. David: Yeah? What's that? Judge Bedford: A vasectomy.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Judge Bedford: I understand you refuse to be represented by counsel. Walter: That's correct, your honor.... Judge Bedford: Are you suicidal, Mr. Davis, or just plain stupid?LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Muriel Bedford: It isn't every day that your only son gets married. Judge Bedford: He's your son, too, Muriel. I mean it's ab...out time you started taking half the blame.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Remember your creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come, and the years draw near when you will say, "I ha...ve no pleasure in them"; before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars are darkened and the clouds return with the rain; in the day when the guards of the house tremble, and the strong men are bent, and the women who grind cease working because they are few, and those who look through the windows see dimly; when the doors on the street are shut, and the sound of the grinding is low, and one rises up at the sound of a bird, and all the daughters of song are brought low; when one is afraid of heights, and terrors are in the road; the almond tree blossoms, the grasshopper drags itself along and desire fails; because all must go to their eternal home, and the mourners will go about the streets; before the silver cord is snapped, and the golden bowl is broken, and the pitcher is broken at the fountain, and the wheel broken at the cistern, and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the breath returns to God who gave it.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but ...woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broke...n at the cistern. Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it. Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher, all is vanity.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Ah! How neatly tied, in these people, is the umbilical cord of morality! Since they left their mothers they have never sinned, hav...e they? They are apostles, they are the descendants of priests; one can only wonder from what source they draw their indignation, and above all how much they have pocketed to do this, and in any case what it has done for them.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The only thing that was dispensed free to the old New Bedford whalemen was a Bible. A well-known owner of one of that city's whali...ng fleets once described the Bible as the best cheap investment a shipowner could make.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Quotation ... A writer expresses himself in words that have been used before because they give his meaning better than he can give... it himself, or because they are beautiful or witty, or because he expects them to touch a cord of association in his reader, or because he wishes to show that he is learned and well read. Quotations due to the last motive are invariably ill-advised; the discerning reader detects it and is contemptuous; the undiscerning is perhaps impressed, but even then is at the same time repelled, pretentious quotations being the surest road to tedium.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »