The trouble with most problem-solving books for parents is that they start with the idea that the child has a problem. Then they t...ry to tell us how to fix the child, or else, after blaming the parent, they suggest how we can fix ourselves.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The parent is the strongest statement that the child hears regarding what it means to be alive and real. More than what we say or ...do, the way we are expresses what we think it means to be alive. So the articulate parent is less a telling than a listening individual.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The good enough parent, in addition to being convinced that whatever his child does, he does it because at that moment he is convi...nced this is the best he can do, will also ask himself: "What in the world would make me act as my child acts at this moment? And if I felt forced to act this way, what would make me feel better about it?"LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security o...f the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The parent must not give in to his desire to try to create the child he would like to have, but rather help the child to develop--...in his own good time--to the fullest, into what he wishes to be and can be, in line with his natural endowment and as the consequence of his unique life in history.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
To be told that our child's behavior is "normal" offers little solace when our feelings are badly hurt, or when we worry that his ...actions are harmful at the moment or may be injurious to his future. It does not help me as a parent nor lessen my worries when my child drives carelessly, even dangerously, if I am told that this is "normal" behavior for children of his age. I'd much prefer him to deviate from the norm and be a cautious driver!LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Most advice on child-rearing is sought in the hope that it will confirm our prior convictions. If the parent had wished to proceed... in a certain way but was made insecure by opposing opinions of neighbors, friends, or relatives, then it gives him great comfort to find his ideas seconded by an expert.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Our goal as a parent is to give life to our children's learning--to instruct, to teach, to help them develop self-discipline--an o...rdering of the self from the inside, not imposition from the outside. Any technique that does not give life to a child's learning and leave a child's dignity intact cannot be called discipline--it is punishment, no matter what language it is clothed in.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had t...hree of my own.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »