The growing of food and the growing of children are both vital to the family's survival.... Who would dare make the judgment that ...holding your youngest baby on your lap is less important than weeding a few more yards in the maize field? Yet this is the judgment our society makes constantly. Production of autos, canned soup, advertising copy is important. Housework--cleaning, feeding, and caring--is unimportant.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
We have to give ourselves--men in particular--permission to really be with and get to know our children. The premise is that takin...g care of kids can be a pain in the ass, and it is frustrating and agonizing, but also gratifying and enjoyable. When a little kid says, "I love you, Daddy," or cries and you comfort her or him, life becomes a richer experience.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
No one ever promised me it would be easy and it's not. But I also get many rewards from seeing my children grow, make strong decis...ions for themselves, and set out on their own as independent, strong, likeable human beings. And I like who I am becoming, too. Having teenagers has made me more human, more flexible, more humble, more questioning--and, finally it's given me a better sense of humor!LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
I would hope that parents and grown children could be friends. When a friend confides in you that she's going to do something that... you think is most inappropriate, foolhardy or even dangerous, wouldn't you as a friend say so--in a calm, supportive way? Yet I have to be so careful what I say to my children. I have to walk on eggs to be sure I'm not hurting their feelings or interfering with their lives.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Even though I had let them choose their own socks since babyhood, I was only beginning to learn to trust their adult judgment.. . .... I had a sensation very much like the moment in an airplane when you realize that even if you stop holding the plane up by gripping the arms of your seat until your knuckles show white, the plane will stay up by itself. . . . To detach myself from my children . . . I had to achieve a condition which might be called loving objectivity.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
I think it a much wiser thing to secure for the thousands of mothers in this State the legal control of the children they now have..., than to bring others into the world who would not belong to me after they were born.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
You are truly the generation in the middle! You have at once aging parents as well as maturing children to cope with, and you are ...not granted the deference accorded age, or the indulgence given the young.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The extent to which a parent is able to see a child's world through that child's eyes depends very much on the parent's ability to... appreciate the differences between herself and her child and to respect those differences. Your own children need you to accept them for who they are, not who you would like them to be.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
You and your spouse should consider the arguments you have, not as calamities in the history of your child's development, but as o...pportunities for learning. Take the opportunity to teach your children the art of and value in negotiation, and to demonstrate your ability to empathize, your willingness to compromise, and your readiness to apologize for hurt you have inflicted on others.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »