She [the mother] deals with the world of child rearing, where hundreds of experts give contradictory advice; the outcome can't be ...measured for fifteen to twenty years. She has to process this advice through her intuition and a constant stream of her own childhood memories dredged up by her child's dilemmas. And she must do all this with others--mother, mother-in-law, neighbors and schoolteachers--looking over her shoulder, marking her report card, measuring her against their own standards.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Sure, you can love your child when he or she has just brought home a report card with straight "A's." It's a lot harder, though, t...o show the same love when teachers call you from school to tell you that your child hasn't handed in any homework since the beginning of the term.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The report reflects incredibly terrible judgments, shockingly sparse concern for human life, instances of officials lacking the co...urage to exercise the responsibilities of their high office and some very bewildering thought processes.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating... relationships. Emphasis is placed on displaying similarities and matching experiences. From childhood, girls criticize peers who try to stand out or appear better than others. People feel their closest connections at home, or in settings where they feel close to and comfortable with--in other words, during private speaking. But even the most public situations can be approached like private speaking. For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order. This is done by exhibiting knowledge and skill, and by holding center stage through verbal performance such as storytelling, joking, or imparting information. From childhood, men learn to use talking as a way to get and keep attention. So they are more comfortable speaking in larger groups made up of people they know less well--in the broadest sense, "public speaking." But even the most private situations can be approached like public speaking, more like giving a report than establishing rapport.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
he held the proper opinions for the time of year; When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he went.... He was married and added five children to the population, Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation, And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education. Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
I have to confess that I had gambled on my soul and lost it with heroic insouciance and lightness of touch. The soul is so impalpa...ble, so often useless, and sometimes such a nuisance, that I felt no more emotion on losing it than if, on a stroll, I had mislaid my visiting card.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
What is the disease which manifests itself in an inability to leave a party--any party at all--until it is all over and the lights... are being put out?... I suppose that part of this mania for staying is due to a fear that, if I go, something good will happen and I'll miss it. Somebody might do card tricks, or shoot somebody else.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Today, only a fool would offer herself as the singular role model for the Good Mother. Most of us know not to tempt the fates. The... moment I felt sure I had everything under control would invariably be the moment right before the principal called to report that one of my sons had just driven somebody's motorcycle through the high school gymnasium.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but ...women who have been dealt a hand for life and play each card one at a time the best way they know how. No mother is all good or all bad, all laughing or all serious, all loving or all angry. Ambivalence rushes through their veins.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »