The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife--a depressing thought, particularly for th...ose who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
As soon as we are born, if we could but get up, bath, dress, shave, breakfast once for all, if we could 'cut' these monotonous cyc...les of routine. If the sun rose it would stay up, or once we were alive we were immortal!LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
There is no such thing as a life of passion any more than a continuous earthquake, or an eternal fever. Besides, who would ever sh...ave themselves in such a state?LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
I can never get people to understand that poetry is the expression of excited passion, and that there is no such thing as a life o...f passion any more than a continuous earthquake, or an eternal fever. Besides, who would ever shave themselves in such a state?LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he ne...eded company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
If you teach a poor young man to shave himself, and keep his razor in order, you may contribute more to the happiness of his life ...than in giving him a thousand guineas. This sum may be soon spent, the regret only remaining of having foolishly consumed it; but in the other case, he escapes the frequent vexation of waiting for barbers, and of their sometimes dirty fingers, offensive breaths, and dull razors.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one's home. I do not like after- shave lotion, adults who roller-skate, child...ren who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »