funny quotes

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Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a foul odor; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a foul odor; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.

unknown author

perspective | funny

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Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind... - MORE Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.

Joseph Addison

funny

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Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in w... - MORE Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in which they are more ambitious to excel.

Joseph Addison

funny

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The self-consciousness of Pine Ridge manifests itself at the village's edge in such signs as "Drive Keerful," "Don't Hit Our Young... - MORE The self-consciousness of Pine Ridge manifests itself at the village's edge in such signs as "Drive Keerful," "Don't Hit Our Young 'uns," and "You-all Hurry Back"Mlocutions which nearly all Arkansas hill people use daily but would never dream of putting in print.

Administration in the State of Arka

funny | advertising | Arkansas

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"To my thinking" boomed the Professor, begging the question as usual, "the greatest triumph of the human mind was the calculation ... - MORE "To my thinking" boomed the Professor, begging the question as usual, "the greatest triumph of the human mind was the calculation of Neptune from the observed vagaries of the orbit of Uranus."
"And yours," said the P.B.

Samuel Beckett

funny | astronomy

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Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour. He will always use it in evidence against you. Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour. He will always use it in evidence against you.

Herbert Beerbohm, Sir

funny

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There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

Robert Benchley

funny

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Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one fro... - MORE Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one from writing. It is especially valuable in this respect in serious writing, and no one without a sense of humor should ever write seriously. For without knowing what is funny, one is constantly in danger of being funny without knowing it.

Robert Benchley

writers and writing | funny

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And so it goes, back and forth, good church-members all, which means that their banter contains nothing off-color, and by the same... - MORE And so it goes, back and forth, good church-members all, which means that their banter contains nothing off-color, and by the same token, nothing that was coined later than the first batch of buffalo nickels.

Robert Benchley

religion | funny

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Wit is a lean creature with sharp inquiring nose, whereas humor has a kindly eye and a comfortable girth. Wit, if it be necessary,... - MORE Wit is a lean creature with sharp inquiring nose, whereas humor has a kindly eye and a comfortable girth. Wit, if it be necessary, uses malice to score a point—like a cat it is quick to jump—but humor keeps the peace in an easy chair. Wit has a better voice in a solo, but humor comes into the chorus best. Wit is as sharp as a stroke of lightning, whereas humor is diffuse like sunlight. Wit keeps the season's fashions and is precise in the phrases and judgments of the day, but humor is concerned with homely eternal things. Wit wears silk, but humor in homely-spun endures the wind. Wit sets a snare, whereas humor goes off whistling without a victim in its mind. Wit is sharper company at the table, but humor serves better in mischance and in the rain. When it tumbles wit is sour, but humor goes uncomplaining without its dinner. Humor laughs at another's jest and holds its sides, while wit sits wrapped in study for a lively answer.

Charles S. Brooks

wit | funny

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