The trouble with most problem-solving books for parents is that they start with the idea that the child has a problem. Then they t...ry to tell us how to fix the child, or else, after blaming the parent, they suggest how we can fix ourselves.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
One year, I'd completely lost my bearings trying to follow potty training instruction from a psychiatric expert. I was stuck on st...ep on, which stated without an atom of irony: "Before you begin, remove all stubbornness from the child." . . . I knew it only could have been written by someone whose suit coat was still spotless at the end of the day, not someone who had any hands-on experience with an actual two-year-old.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
One current reaction to change in families, for example, is the proposal for more "education for parenthood," on the theory that t...his training will not only teach specific skills such as how to change diapers or how to play responsively with toddlers, but will raise parents' self-confidence at the same time. The proposed cure, in short, is to reform and educate the people with the problem.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Theories of child development and guidelines for parents are not cast in stone. They are constantly changing and adapting to new i...nformation and new pressures. There is no "right" way, just as there are no magic incantations that will always painlessly resolve a child's problems.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Particularly in the early years of the child's development, parents may get different opinions from professionals who view the chi...ld in different settings. A pediatrician seeing the child in a busy office diagnoses "attention deficit disorder"; a nursery school teacher who observes the child in an unruly classroom calls him "hyperactive" ... a psychologist or psychiatrist ... decides he's very active but not "hyper" and talks of emotional and family problems; while a neurologist, meeting with the child on a one-to-one basis,... says he is "normal."LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »