To my fancy, one looks back on life, it has only two responsibilities, which include all the others: one is the bringing of new li...fe into existence; the other, educating it after it is brought in. All betrayals of trust result from these original sins.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
In the Native American tradition ... a man, if he's a mature adult, nurtures life. He does rituals that will help things grow, he ...helps raise the kids, and he protects the people. His entire life is toward balance and cooperativeness. The ideal of manhood is the same as the ideal of womanhood. You are autonomous, self-directing, and responsible for the spiritual, social and material life of all those with whom you live.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Women are taught that their main goal in life is to serve others--first men, and later, children. This prescription leads to enorm...ous problems, for it is supposed to be carried out as if women did not have needs of their own, as if one could serve others without simultaneously attending to one's own interests and desires. Carried to its "perfection," it produces the martyr syndrome or the smothering wife and mother.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
One of the most important findings to come out of our research is that being where you want to be is good for you. We found a very... strong correlation between preferring the role you are in and well-being. The homemaker who is at home because she likes that "job," because it meets her own desires and needs, tends to feel good about her life. The woman at work who wants to be there also rates high in well-being.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Housework is the only activity at which men are allowed to be consistently inept because they are thought to be so competent at ev...erything else.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The risk for a woman who considers her helpless children her "job" is that the children's growth toward self-sufficiency may be ex...perienced as a refutation of the mother's indispensability, and she may unconsciously sabotage their growth as a result.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Anyone who wishes to combine domestic responsibilities and paid employment with the least stress and most enjoyment might start by... pondering this paradox: the first step to better functioning is to stop blaming herself for not functioning well enough.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Juggling produces both practical and psychological benefits.... A woman's involvement in one role can enhance her functioning in a...nother. Being a wife can make it easier to work outside the home. Being a mother can facilitate the activities and foster the skills of the efficient wife or of the effective worker. And employment outside the home can contribute in substantial, practical ways to how one works within the home, as a spouse and as a parent.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
The traditional American husband and father had the responsibilities--and the privileges--of playing the role of primary provider.... Sharing that role is not easy. To yield exclusive access to the role is to surrender some of the potential for fulfilling the hero fantasy--a fantasy that appeals to us all. The loss is far from trivial.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »
Just as we need to encourage women to test life's many options, we need to acknowledge real limits of energy and resources. It wou...ld be pointless and cruel to prescribe role combination for every woman at each moment of her life. Life has its seasons. There are moments when a woman ought to invest emotionally in many different roles, and other moments when she may need to conserve her psychological energies.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »